At the age of 41 it is time enmity ends.
Mom:
You hold so fast and so hard to the word of God that you do not hear Her divine breath in the lives of your children. Children were not meant to be controlled or manipulated with fear. By words of "I am praying for you" or "seek the light" should not mean "stop being yourself" or "I wish you were who I wanted you to be"
The breath of God lives within all living things. We see it at the struggling of the fawn on its legs for the first time, the flutter of a butterflies wings, and even in the deathgrip of the snake with its prey. We fear its sound in the torrents of storm, but do not hear the wisdom in the gentlest of breezes.
It is time to let go...it is time to let live.
As a parent, the charge to you is gentle nourishment, not in the adages you grew up with but with the encouragement of the child to hear the breeze and follow where it takes her.
Sis:
For too long you have kept my nephews from me out of some misguided conception of who I might be or who I am...based solely on one word "Tranny". You don't know what I have become, you do not see the wonder I have helped craft and you do not see the justice I have helped breathe into life.
I don't know what it is to be a mother of three beautiful boys. Nor do I know the struggles you have had as you have followed the loves you have in this life.
But, you do not see the wounds I have endured, the noble battles I have fought, nor the failures that have helped me grow.
Put aside these childish things...these words without depth...these preconceptions without merit and look into the depths of my eyes...my heart..my soul
Perhaps there you will see the aunt crying for nephews she does not know and never will.
Dearest brother:
Our history has been a battle. We have often not been fond of one another. For my part, you do not see the pain I carry around this day in regard to how I treated you. For yours, you do not see how your grudge against our father and your pain have actually blinded you to some of the truth.
Love, live, be blessed... and let go, you are more man than you realize you are.
For my half brothers:
If only, for a moment, you would walk with me you might see sights neither of us has seen before.
For Pearl:
Please, take a moment to listen...listen with heart and not with mind. Welcoming someone in your family is not a zero sum game. You do not have to worry about "your own" not getting enough...as my father had more than enough love to go around.
When last we met I tried to explain to you that being welcoming in a workplace of someone of trans experience was more than lip service. One cannot say one welcomes difference and embraces it, but then giggle or talk behind its back. When a workplace is committed to truly welcoming trans individuals then such behavior ends. It is not tolerated. It is not appropriate. It is not up to the employee to educate the workplace, it is up to the workplace to educate itself. When your workplace is ready to listen, I and others are ready to teach.
Uncle Dan:
Geneology can be a game of bloodlines and who begot whom. What is the real use in that though in today's age other than curiosity? boasting rights? To claim, "I am related to a hero of the Delaware, Sir William Glenney who was with George Washington" So what?
What have we done with our lives? What is our herstory? How is it recorded and told?
You do a great disservice in how your record my name among your tree. A branch with a name that no longer applies and a sex that was always a lie in some sense of the word does not a whit of good in saying who we are as a family.
It does not preserve the relationship I had from 1994 to 2002 with an older and wonderful woman who meant the world to me. It does not honor the struggles I faced with another lover around 2002 or 2003, and it does not pay homage to who my family is here and now - a wonderful woman of immense intelligence and soul and three dogters for whom I would give anything.
It does nothing to honor the legacy I have built, not for myself, not for my glory, not for the glory of a family, but for the transformation of community into something more just and fair for all people.
I believe it is time you rethink what your true purpose is in regard to tracing a family tree.
I also think it is about time you got a sense of humor. Yes, some of the bawdiest humour I have learned is from ladies of great respect.
So endeth the lesson.....blessed be.
